When does it become your responsibility to share with the world? Immediately? Never?
The intention behind Eclectic Purpose is first to share extensions of my own gifts, as I feel is my duty, to myself, and as a fellow human. To tap into parts of myself I have kept at bay or on the sidelines much longer than is comfortable.
However, my gifts are not my own, it is source working through me. All gifts, the ones most of us have and the rarest in the world, are expression of source. Regardless of if we feel we are good or bad at it, or if it is a gift at all.
We all have gifts, but it is up to you if you allow source to work through you. You can force and struggle and do it yourself, or you can take a step back and let spirit lead.
As I have mentioned before (and many others before me) we are all microcosms of the universe experiencing itself and therefore all one, expressing the gift of being HUMAN, just in different ways.
So while my mind tells me everyone has already done it, i’m too late, there’s no room, I will do it anyway.
While society tells me there’s no time, I am too busy, it’s not a priority, I will make it a priority.
While my ego tells me it’s not good enough; it’s not perfect. Ego says I will be criticized and laughed at, behind my back if not to my face, yet I will share anyway. If I wait till it is perfect I will be waiting forever.
I am sharing, finally, for the greatest and highest good. Some ego wrapped up in parts because I am still human, yet I know this to be my why. What makes it worthwhile even when I feel silly.
As I encourage myself to do this, I urge you to as well. Maybe it’s not a blog or a book club or teaching yoga or whatever, but YOUR thing. We all have something to share and if you aren’t already sharing, it may be in the best interest of all to at least consider your why and when.
Creativity comes in many forms. It drives me mad when I hear people say “I’m just not creative!” because yes you are! Everyone is. For you it may be cooking or organizing or personal training or fashion or a wide variety of other things. No matter what, there is something. Some way you could express yourself if you aren’t already.
Maybe you are already sharing in one area and that’s your thing so you are afraid to add something to the mix that you will be new at, because you already know what it feels like to be an expert in something else.
Maybe you’re afraid of who or what you will lose if you share fully, who you are. I am, but I am working on releasing this fear. It does not serve me.
Your purpose is eclectic, even if all extensions and branches seem to lead to or stem from one sole purpose. We are meant, as humans, to be good at some things and suck at other things and suck at some things until we persevere long enough to not suck anymore.
We are human, we are not going to do anything perfectly. Nothing. Yet we keep showing up again and again and doing the damn things anyway.
So why not start that new thing? What are you nervous to invest? Time? Energy? Money? Reputation? Yeah, me too. All of those things and a few more are the reasons it’s taken me years to actually start and share this. Showing up raw, less than perfect. Sharing vulnerability, even with my good ole friend cringe factor here with me.
I have recently come to the realization that not only is tapping into our gifts a step on the path to fulfillment and joy in our own life, but part of our duty as human beings one to another.
If you living in authenticity sparks one little bulb of rightness or purpose or life in another being, you are doing your work. If we give ourselves permission to live fully, we in turn give others permission to show up as fully themselves as well.
We are all serving to expand one another’s consciousness by showing one another what is possible, in a negative or positive way. When we see others, especially with similarities to ourselves, doing something (anything – things we perceive as “good” or things we perceive as “bad”) our consciousness begins to believe that that is a possibility for us. We may not know how to get there or we may not desire to at all, but at least we believe it’s a possibility, or we see how it could be at least in some alternate reality.
Examples:
- You see your friend self-publish a book and now you feel it’s possible to self-publish that book you’ve always wanted to write.
- You see your friend get a divorce and now you’re worried about getting a divorce.
- You see someone will cool jeans and realize you want those cool jeans.
- You see someone who came from a similar background as you running a successful business and now you see it is possible for you, too.
The list could go on and on. Negative or positive things. Maybe your mind is still saying “no you can’t” but some part of your subconscious now knows that it’s possible, for better or worse. It doesn’t mean it will happen of course or even that you want it to happen, but you now can see the potential and possibility.
Everything is relative so what is hard for one is often easy for another. What is fun for one is torture for another, etc. By design. Because we are all different expressions of human, eclectic, if you will.
Even compared to past versions of yourself, these things are true. Maybe in your teenage years staying out drinking till three in the morning was fun, but now being in your cozy jam jams and having a little snack before 8 pm bedtime is fun. Maybe in the past running was torture for you but now you crave it because it brings you such joy. Maybe you weren’t a pro driver when you started but now you drive a car every day. Such is life.
So I share and create now with hopes that my future version will find more flow in the areas I feel stuck, find more validity and hope in the areas I am nervous now. I have to start somewhere, and so do you.
We are meant to do things that bring us joy. I don’t mean just joy as in what will make you feel happy or fun in the moment, but real joy. Deep, satisfying, fulfillment sort of joy.
You are meant to do what makes you feel lit up and alive and filled with purpose, even if it takes work or there are less than desirable parts of it.
You were literally born to be you, fully. Even if no one else gets it or supports you or understands. Even if you judge yourself or others judge you. Only you, and you alone can know what your path is, and even you, the “knower” can only take it one step at a time, regardless of how much of a planner you are
We are, as a society, beginning to deconstruct, to move away from the systems in place and encourage expression of individuality more each day. This is beautiful, because it is allowing us to express ourselves fully more than maybe ever before. Of course, it is increasingly hard to be rooted and assured in who we are with the constant input of social media and choices – an overwhelming amount of choices.
However, one could argue that this assurance and rootedness now must come from within because it’s beautiful to change, and evolve, and once we know better, we are called to do better. If we continue to do the work of carving our own path and listening first to our most inner voice, the voice of our highest self, then the choices are beautiful because we can clearly choose what we want to do, who we want to be, etc.
Even as these beautiful changes come about, technology, meant to connect us more, is simultaneously disconnecting us in other ways. We have to ability to connect at any moment, yet most of us recognize the sinking feeling of aloneness or separateness that often accompanies a mindless scroll. The wage gap continues to grow, making it more difficult to even meet day-to-day needs, let alone spend time and money on hobbies or expressions of oneself that do not bring income. I am under qualified to speak on these topics of technology and the wage gap, yet perhaps everyone is qualified, to some extent, to weigh in because all of us partake in this society and are affected, whether they benefit us or not.
It is my hope that we are waking up. I hope that enough of us are doing as much as we can, even if it feels like a lost cause sometimes. I hope that even when we are not perfect, we are moving in the right direction. A misstep does not discount all progress. I hope that as we learn better, we do better. I hope that we learn to care for ourselves in the absolute best way we can in order to be able to care for others, in turn.
It starts with you right? It starts with me. We must bring ourselves joy, no one else can do it for you. It is up to you and you alone to decide that joy only happens in the here and now.
No one else on this planet will fully understand your joy. What an empowering concept! None of this “Eek it’s up to me? Well i’m fucked then!” NO! Everything you need is already within you. What is meant for you will NOT miss you. It may take longer to reach you depending on how long it takes you to allow it, but all it takes is that: the allowing, the trusting, the reclaiming of your own power and knowing that you already hold all the answers for your own joy within.
That means moving past the excuses; recognizing the fear that is there and then doing it anyway. Knowing that those that judge you are only judging themselves. You are simply mirroring something in them they don’t want to see.
How do we begin? By caring for ourselves as fully as possible, in mind, body, and spirit. To strive to live from a place of authenticity and know without a shadow of a doubt that that looks different for everyone. The way one person shows up authentically looks different (very different) one person to the next. We are all playing multiple roles at any given moment and our paths are individual. No two people express themselves in exactly the same way and that is good, whether we understand anyone else or not. Your authentic path will be unique if it is truly your own. The only way we will get to a place of change in our society, or on a global scale, is to start with our own damn selves.
As a parent, this is my main goal with my child: to let him be fully himself, and to love him exactly for that. Even if I don’t agree with it. Even if I see differently. Even if I don’t understand it. Even when it doesn’t feel safe for me, or scares me. I mean obviously there are some safety precautions and I can offer wisdom of experience, but at the end of the day I don’t want him to be scared of the world. I want him to take risks, using wisdom and intuition. I want him to trust himself and believe in himself enough to live as full a life as possible.
Being a parent is part of my path, but at the end of the day I am only meant to live my own life, not his. All I can do is be a good steward of him while he is in my care, do the best I can, and then trust him, and the universe. His life is his, and his alone. I will give him as many new experiences as I can. I will help guide and love him and teach him everything I can, but regardless of what I want, or say, or do, he will choose his own path, and that is how it is meant to be.
As a steward of his little life, I feel even more compelled to follow my own path and purpose, to live in authenticity. I feel more drawn toward caring for my own inner child. More than anything else, I am more full of joy, and want to make living in joy my life’s purpose (if we are picking one sole purpose for all of our other Eclectic aspects to fall under).
For me, that means I want to cultivate an aesthetic home, strong coffee, kitty snuggles, and comfy sweatpants. It means I want to spend copious amounts of time in nature. I want to travel often, have new experiences, and experience breathtaking views. It means I want to spend my time with people who love me exactly for who I am, who fill me up, who bring positive energy into my life. It means jalapeno chips and good books and time for yoga.
Now, it also means talking about parts of my life I haven’t talked about. It means talking about the embarrassing and shameful and hard things because they are valid parts of me too, and deserve just as much as all the things I regularly flaunt.
Some people do this through sharing a tear-filled video on Instagram. Some do it by baring every layer of themselves, regardless of who they are around. I prefer to use Instagram as a highlight-reel scrapbook, and absolutely have a few people in my life who I just don’t talk about certain things around, and I believe that is okay, if it is what is true and I can recognize it for what it is. I protect my energy and do what feels good to me, and that’s fine, for now at least.
So this is my sharing, my baring of the soul, if you will. Some people in my life will judge me, or not believe me, or frankly just not care what I write and share. I have come to the realization that all of that…is okay. What matters is that I share anyway. That I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am worthy of love. I am worthy of belonging. I am worthy of my dreams coming to fruition. That regardless of what happens or if anyone reads at all, my work is in the sharing itself. In the creation.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
– Bernard M. Baruch. (Or Dr. Suess. I’ve seen both credited)
I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I am valid, and always have been. So are you.
I have spent a lot of my life thinking I will at some magical point be “ready”, to have a kiddo, to share my writing, to do what I love, to feel joy. It is only in the past few years that I have realized the time for joy, for purpose, for living in alignment is right now, because the now is all we ever have.
Every single day, each moment, regardless of how hard and painful it is, is a gift. Not to spiritually or intellectually bypass and say “Everything is great and all is well and everything happens for a reason!” I still do NOT think everything happens for a reason, but I do think purpose and meaning can be found in every moment. It doesn’t always need to be, perhaps it shouldn’t even always be, but if it serves us, we can find purpose at any time we choose.
All feelings are equally valid, and arise as teachers (which I will refrain from going deeply into here), so in that case, perhaps we can find the joy of humanism always. Even in the angry moments, the painful moments, the hard moments. They all deserve to be felt.
What if we just let things that suck, fully suck? Then when moments are good, they can really be good. I am trying to stay away now from this blasé middle ground i’ve been struggling to maintain for much of my life. However, if we are to practice non-attachment and not assign too much meaning to either side, then isn’t the blasé middle ground equally desirable and a form of enlightenment? Hmm. I am confusing myself now so I will move on.
As humans though, we aren’t supposed to have all the answers. To be human is to be constantly learning, discovering, and hopefully evolving as well. What a wild ride.
Maybe the deeper the pain, anger, and sadness we feel, the deeper the joy on the other side. The more love we feel, the deeper the pain in the loss, but isn’t it worth it? I am learning to appreciate all of it, every day. Instead of waiting for tomorrow to live with purpose and intention, I truly try to choose both, every day. Sometimes that means taking a deep breath and getting through a hard moment, and sometimes it means overflowing with joy and abundance and excitement for an incredible day, appreciating exactly what it is.
It’s a trip no matter what. It’s going to be hard and also beautiful no matter what. So why not say fuck it, and live to the best of your ability? To your fullest extent? Before it’s too late! (Not to be ominous, it just is what it is.)
What is it going to take for you to rise up and meet your call to action? And the one after that? And after that?
If you’d like, consider these prompts. Answer them in your mind, or in a journal. If nothing comes to mind, give it time, something will.
Maybe you already are doing this work and each answer is clear-cut, actionable, or already in process.
- When do you feel the most joy? Who are you with? Where are you? What are you doing?
- What is something you’ve always wanted to do but never done? Why? What is one small thing you could take to make it happen?
- If money was not an issue, what would you do? This isn’t a joke, really think about it.
- What is one thing you could do right now, today, to live more in alignment? Big or small. Everything is energy so it all matters.
- Are you holding back from sharing something about yourself that you deeply know would be beneficial to yourself or others to share?
a) Why are you holding back?
b) What would happen if you decided to share?
c) How would you share? Who would you share with?
What is meant for you is already in existence. It very much wants to make its way to you, because it is a part of you. It’s circling you, ready to come through if and when you do the work of allowing.
I write this for myself as much as for you, my loves.
As much as I know these things as truth, it has taken me years to accept the call to action. It has taken a lifetime to piece together and begin Eclectic Purpose. The parts were there, just not yet alive and tangible. Even now, I have yet to fully share, this is only the beginning.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for your presence here on earth. Now go share YOURSELF!