“Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.”
– Rick Warren
Hello dear ones! You have made it to day nineteen! Whether you are completing this journey in real time or a few sections at a time, I hope you are truly beginning to realize your worth and reprogram any part of you that ever thought otherwise.
Today we reflect. If you are reading this in December of 2023, you are welcome to reflect on the previous year, but please remember that December is its own month. December is THIRTY-ONE days to grow, experience, and explore. December is not JUST a reflection of the months before or simply a prerequisite to enter 2023. December is her own, beautiful, month.
Okay but all of that being said, my birthday is on December 25th (yes, Christmas lol) and I really LOVE and APPRECIATE that December CAN be a time to reflect on how far we have come and look forward to the beautiful chapter that is next year! For these exercises, I am going to focus on just the last year, because so much has happened for me in the past twelve months, but every season and chapter of life feels different – some take only a few moments and others last several years. Choose what period of time YOU would like to reflect on and let that be your work for today. I will use the word year – but substitute whatever amount of time you’d like.
If you are groaning and thinking “Ugh noooo it was such a shitty year! Such a dumpster fire! I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to and I don’t want to think about that!” Take a DEEP BREATH SWEETHEART.
Regardless of if you “accomplished” what you wanted to this year, you SURVIVED, and you might have even LIVE-LAUGH-LOVED a little along the way. I would hope that since you love yourself ~at least~ enough to follow along with a 21-Day Worthiness Journey you are self-aware enough to acknowledge at least one thing you feel good about, or at least neutral about if nothing else.
If you are still having a hard time thinking of something, look back to where you were five years ago. Who were you with? Where did you live? What did you feel like? If you could go back in time and show your previous self this current version of yourself, what would surprise you?
We often get so focused on where we WANT TO BE and AREN’T, we forget how far we have ALREADY COME.
Sometimes I feel like I finally accomplish whatever goal I made for myself and don’t even truly take time to celebrate it. It feels like “Yay! Okay now what’s next?” or “How can I move the finish line to be even BETTER?” As our self-worth grows, we realize that celebrating the little wins is what life it made of. Celebrating LIFE ITSELF is what life is made of.
I find myself scared at times that if I celebrate my small victories too often I will lack motivation to keep moving forward and keep growing and evolving, when in fact the EXACT OPPOSITE IS TRUE. When we give ourselves small milestones to look forward to, life feels less overwhelming and more manageable.
Everything fluctuates: money, relationships, situations, world events, births and deaths…everything. If we let these external situations affect our feelings of worth, we will often be disappointed. Our self-esteem (how we FEEL about ourselves/our life) might fluctuate, yes. That can change day to day and moment to moment, but our INHERENT WORTH does not change, and we need to internalize and acknowledge that in the very core depths of our being.
Today I have two offerings / exercises for you. Do one or both. (:
Exercise 1: Reverse Bucket List
Start with month one (in my case, January 2023) and write down all the things you want to remember (and/or let go of) for that month. These can be big or little things, fun or not so fun things. Close your eyes and think back to January. Visualize who you were and what was happening in your life. It may help to journal, look at photos from that month, or even texts/journal entries/social media posts from that time. Once you are done with the first month, move on to the second, and so on. Don’t feel pressured to think of everything at once, a lot of times other memories will come to you as you work through the rest of your year.
- For Example: Your list might look like this:
- January 2023
- Moved from SC to MO
- Read “It ends with Us”
- Started the 1,000 hours outside challenge
- Learned to do handstands
- Made baklava for the first time
- Had a last session with my SC therapist virtually
- Dyed my hair purple
- Etc.
- January 2023
Feel free to add not-fun or really challenging things too – I find it helps to process and leave the past in the past, or see what emotional charge / attachment / wound still needs to be worked through. You might even be pleasantly surprised and realize you have healed more from something than you thought!
Exercise 2: Four Areas:
In this exercise, we look back over these four areas:
- Home – May include your physical home, roommates or family, pets, vehicle, your community, and whatever else you consider home, etc.
- Health – Physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, doctors/healers, health challenges, health goals met, new information, etc.
- Relationships – Family/Friends, trips and adventures, work or community relationships, births/deaths, lessons around relationships, holidays, new and old friends, etc.
- Career – Job or side jobs, money, finances, stability, may include hobbies or creative endeavors, etc.
Spend a bit of time in reflection, meditation, journaling, bullet-pointing, or voicenoting your thoughts and feelings about each area, and considering the events that happened this year, large or small, in each area. It doesn’t have to be anything new or different for the year, just things you notice.
***Tomorrow we set intentions for what’s to come, so don’t jump ahead of yourself yet!***
Note how your body, heart, and mind feel after working through these exercises. Breathe. Give yourself grace. Make peace with this year to the best of your ability.
Celebrate your LITTLE wins as much as the “big” ones because life is LITERALLY the journey not the destination.
Happy reflecting!
Resource: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
– Winnie the Pooh